Blue

Tonight I'm feeling blue, not for any particular reason, I guess. Maybe it just goes along with having a temperament that swings between enthusiastic and melancholic, with not much ground in between. And it's funny, I tend to not want to write about those down times on this blog. Don't know if it's part of growing up with the feeling that I'm supposed to "Be a Sunbeam for Jesus" (a song on a record I had as a child) or just the idea of public exposure and possible criticism.

Anyway, I am looking forward to seeing people I love in Oregon--just 22 days and counting. And I'm really happy to have our entire family of five together for part of this summer (though Jeff and the two oldest are in Israel at this moment on a trip--I'm glad they can tour some of the places like Jerusalem and Jericho that I got to see when I was ten, on the way back from Africa to the States). I have lots to be happy about.

On the flip side, I wish I knew where we will go a year from now. Back to the northwest, I hope, but nothing is certain. Also, these last two years have been utterly draining for me. Sigh. Moving to Germany, I assumed I'd be the one making the adjustments more easily than anyone, after all, wasn't I the one who grew up in another country and has always appreciated diverse cultures? Ha. Assumptions suck, especially in the aftermath.

I do know that God is here with me. Just wish I felt God more in the day to day moments.